I suffer from regular nighttime thirstiness. Actually it’s like a running joke that I won’t even drive two seconds up the street without grabbing a drink first. It’s like I’m pathologically afraid of thirst. So Zane put an office style water cooler beside my nightstand. Because I’m not spoiled at all.
- I’ve managed to bathe and get some make up on today. Not so much the clothes wearing or being vertical doing. *STREEEEEEEETCH* I disgust me.
- I really need to get Easter basket shopping done. Somebody make me get on that.
- Ever feel like some words, even though they’ve been around like hundreds of years have been just waiting around to be the perfect descriptor of a person? Millions of uses that allllllmost encompass their true meaning but just not quite? I got one that can rest easily now and forever and ever amen. Cunt.
- My shoulders are peeling so badly. I was on facetime with James earlier and actually complained about how hard it is and how much I hate being so white. Then we both had a good laugh because that’s easily the most obnoxious thing that’s ever come out of my mouth. And that’s saying something.
- Speaking of mouths, you like my very 80’s-esque ridiculously pink lip color? I’m kind of in love with it.
- Still not used to the darkness of my hair. I feel like Elvira.
- Fuck you, I’m a lizard. ELVIRAlizard.
- If you find yourself describing someone as a good person that just does a lot of shitty selfish things, stop. It doesn’t work that way.
- I am officially one pound lighter than the lightest I’ve been since my son was born. Still a fat ass. Life is hard.
- Unrelated: I want ice cream. In my dumb pink mouth. Like, now.
- Do you have an answer for uless?
- We done here?
Q:I've got this personal situation going on right now. With no explanation of why it is, will you come take care of it for me? I'm ascared.
I will take care of it. I will take care of it so hard. I will take care of the shit out of it. Does that last one inspire confidence?
This will be you, in no time.
Q:Cort. You know what happens when you day drink.
I’m in bed by 9pm. Apparently.
Q:I'm so jealous of your day drinking. Come rescue me?
I will rescue you. I will rescue you from your afternoon that prevents you from day drinking. I will rescue from a band of roving, promiscuous, ill-intentioned llamas. I will rescue you from whatever weird butt stuff Dan is trying to talk you into doing.
Come here baby. Let me love you.
Q:Do you think there's any correlation between my recent onset of daily vertigo and your tumblr absence? Science!
Correlation doesn’t prove causation Jill! However… I mean… you know… I’M SO SORRY I’LL DO BETTER
Q:I AM A HORRIBLE HUMAN! DID YOU SEE THE BLASPHEMOUS THINGS I SAID??!?
I SAW THEM. I AM APPALLED. YOU MONSTER. CAN I TOUCH YOUR BUTT?
Hey. I’m day drinking.
Just thought you should know.
Know what? Know WHAT?
Ask me stuff?
I haven’t interacted in a while.
I’ve missed you fuckers.